FUTURE WIFE

JEREMY GODSANN POEMS

(Just been sitting down thinking about life. ..mmmH! it’s just amazing; I sat down with a Pen and a Paper and this is what I came up with…I hope she is out there).

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In this world full of hurt and pain, Love’s a curious thing, it often comes disguised,
Look at love the wrong way, it goes unrecognized, Into all lives falls pain and sorrows,I promise together, we will meet all tomorrows.

I promise to do my best to make you beam daily, so count on many surprises. Your smile will be my priority. I get weak knees when anybody smiles, so just imagine the effort I will make to be the source of yours.I promise I will always look at you with the same adoration as I did the moment I realized I loved you. I promise to try to ignite the same sparkle in your eyes I see…

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THE MASK I WEAR

Don't be fooled by me.
 Don't be fooled by the face I wear
 For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks-
 masks that I'm afraid to take off
 and none of them are me.
 Pretending is an art that's second nature with me
 but don't be fooled,
 for God's sake, don't be  fooled.
 I give you the impression that I'm secure
 That all is sunny and unruffled with me
 within as well as without,
 that confidence is my name
 and coolness my game,
 that the water's calm
 and I'm in command,
 and that I need no one.
 But don't believe me. Please!

My surface may be smooth but my surface is my mask,
 My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
 Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
 Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.
 But I hide this.
 I don't want anybody to know it.
 I panic at the thought of my
 weaknesses
 and fear exposing them.
 That's why I frantically create my masks
 to hide behind.
 They're nonchalant, sophisticated facades
 to help me pretend,
 To shield me from the glance that
 knows.
 But such a glance is precisely my salvation,
 my only salvation,
 and I know it.

That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
 and if it's followed by love.
 It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself
 from my own self-built prison walls

I dislike hiding, honestly
 I dislike the superficial game I'm playing,
 the superficial phony game.
 I'd really like to be genuine and me.
 But I need your help, your hand to hold
 Even though my masks would tell you otherwise
 That glance from you is the only thing that assures me
 of what I can't assure myself,
 that I'm really worth something.

But I don't tell you this.
 I don't dare.
 I'm afraid to.
 I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh
 and your laugh would kill me.
 I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing,
 that I'm just no good
 and you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game
 With a facade of assurance without,
 And a trembling child within.
 So begins the parade of masks,

The glittering but empty parade of masks,
 and my life becomes a front.
 I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.
 I tell you everything that's nothing
 and nothing of what's everything,
 of what's crying within me.
 So when I'm going through my routine
 do not be fooled by what I'm saying
  try to hear
 what I'm not saying
 Hear what I'd like to say
 but what I can not say.

It will not be easy for you,
 long felt inadequacies make my defenses strong.
 The nearer you approach me
 the blinder I may strike back.
 Despite what books say of men, I am irrational;
 I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.
 you wonder who I am
 you shouldn't
 for I am everyman
 and everywoman
 who wears a mask.
 Don't be fooled by me.
 At least not by the face I wear.

~author unknown and it has been published in a number of books and on the web.

WHAT DOES ONE DO

TearWhat Does One Do?

When you no longer know the way to follow

When questions are the only thing in mind

When the answers are no longer there

What Does One Do?

When suddenly the path is lost

When the light that was shinning suddenly goes dim

When the plans you had laid down all prove futile

When you no longer know which road to set out for

What Does One Do? 

When the people you love the most are no longer there

When the joy they brought no longer exists

When the future you had in mind has vanished

What Does One Do? 

When pain is the only thing you feel

When all that is in your heart is agony

When you no longer have a reason to be happy.

When everywhere you look all you see is darkness

What Does One Do? 

When nothing no longer matters.

When life lacks meaning

And tears overshadow you.

What Does One Do?

When taking action  is no longer an option

When tears no longer ease the pain

When your heart can not find consolation in anythng

What Does one Do? 

When all one wants is to let go.

Tell me please,

What Does One Do?

 

LESSONS FROM THE EUNUCH

Its 6:00 a.m. I’ve just finished watching the movie “unconditional”. Yes, I was watching that early. With teary eyes(effects of the movie) I open my lovely brown covered book with the words “HOLY BIBLE” written on it. And continuing with my series of reading, go straight to chapter 8 of the book of Acts. I read through, then,

It captures my attention-The story of the Ethiopian Eunuch.

From it I gain revelations.

First, this man Philip, an angel appears tells him, instructs him to go south and he immediately starts out. Doesn’t ask questions or take time to think. He just follows what he was told. Got me thinking how many times do we follow instructions? How many times have we heard God speak to us clearly tells us to do something but being the human beings we are, we start asking what ifs? And in our quest of wanting to know why? and where? and how? We miss God’s great destiny for us.

Here is the eunuch, he is reading the book of Prophet Isaiah, he knows not what he is reading but he is reading it anyway. He desires to know. By God’s ways Phillip is here too, and he explains it all to him. And when ‘they came to some water”(vs 36) the eunuch, having now understood what he was reading, grabs the opportunity and asks Philip “look here is water. Why shouldn’t I be baptized?”  And he gave orders to stop the chariot and was baptized(vs 38,39)

Wow!! How Fascinating! The eunuch had been searching and when he found, when he got the knowledge of what he had been looking for, he didn’t think twice about it. He didn’t leave anything to chance. He grabbed the opportunity with both hands.

How great are the things we could have and can achieve if we grabbed the opportunities given to us without hesitation? How massive our achievements would be if we took a hold of chances as the eunuch did?  How high we would and will rise if we accept and take up the good offers made to us!

Then it hit me, the reason we don’t take up this opportunities is, we are not searching for them, we are getting ourselves prepared for them, so we fail to recognize them when they are presented to us. The eunuch was reading amid the fact that he wasn’t understanding what he was reading. He was preparing himself, he was laying the foundation, he had already started the journey so when someone to push him to the end of the journey came, he recognized him and took the chance. He knew what he was searching for and this helped him know it when it was presented to him.

‘When they came up out of the water, the spirit of the Lord suddenly took Philip away, and the eunuch did not see him again, but went on his way rejoicing'(vs 39). Philip’s work was done. He had achieved his purpose. He had known why the angel had sent him to the south. He had found the reason. So the spirit took him away.

Rejoice was now the eunuch’s portion. ‘And he went his way rejoicing’. Yes, He rejoices because what he had been looking for was found, because he is now a changed man, his crave had been filled.

This is what will also happen to us too. We will know joy. We will know happiness. We will know gladness. We will rejoice. Our search and preparation will pay off and that grabbed opportunity will bring us prosperity. We only need to search,be prepared and take up the opportunity when we lay sight of it.

Finally, ‘and the eunuch did not see him again’. The eunuch met Philip only once in his life and Philip changed his life. Philip quenched his thirst. This cut through me deep. I remembered the many times I have met people and ignored them,how many times I have looked down upon people. What if this people(or person) was my Philip? What if this person had the answer to my ‘that one question’?

Day in, day out, we meet people, how do we treat them? Do we even give ourselves and them a chance to know them? Do we say “hi” back when they say “hi”? Or do we ignore and ill-treat them and in the process miss our Philip?

Lets Learn from the Eunuch

~AMM

 

Ordinary.

Because am ordinary I make mistakes. Because am ordinary I have hard times. Because am ordinary I feel.Because am ordinary I stumble. Because am ordinary I sometimes go astray. Because am ordinary I do all the things ordinary people do.

Out of my being ordinary I have found ways of making my Ordinary Amazing.

I make mistakes I learn from them. A lesson I never forget. I stumble then I learn that where I stumbled the path aint straight. I go astray, I remember I need to find the way back and when I do I make sure I keep this way in mind and avoid the one that led me astray.

Hard times are my best. I always remember that a tea bag knows its worth and works best when put in hot water and no matter how difficult the climb might be nothing, absolutely nothing can take away the awesomeness of the view from the top.

So yes, I am Ordinary- not so ordinary, Ordinary.